Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation so difficult that it seems like a long drawn-out crisis; we can not solve it; there is no way to escape. Such a problem will occupy our thoughts continually – round and round it goes and the more we think about it, the more we are engulfed in despair.
This is the moment to recall a simple phrase, a slogan or a bit of philosophy, and to say it over and over until our minds are filled with it, replacing thoughts of the tormenting problem.
It might be the Serenity Prayer or a thought like the one an Al-Anon member sent in to “The Forum”: “Thank you, God, I cvan see now that thorns have roses.”
There is some good in even the darkest troubles that happen to me. I can acquire the knack of searching out the good, and concentrating on it. Much depends on meeting my problems head on, calmly estimating their real character, refusing to exaggerate them, and then drowning them out with abnn inspiring thought.
“Painful experiences come from the thorns that wound us; they make us forget they also have roses. Yet we cannot expect to enjoy life’s color, beauty and fragrance, without accepting the thorny challenges and learning how to deal with them, as we do in Al-Anon.”
Reading from: One Day At A Time In Al-Anon, pg. 100
After a holiday weekend a reading like this may hit home for many of us. Whenever you add the dynamic of a larger number of people than normal things can get a little more “unmanageable”. And the other way, on a weekend where many many people are celebrating together with family, the issue may be not having family around or spending the time on our own.
There is always a rose with the thorns. There is always something to learn, to gain insight into, to enjoy. Utilizing a gratitude journal has been one of the best tools I have found for isolating those things that are good that we want to remember. Search out those moments or experiences that are good and write them down. When we look for the good we find it. It is as simple as that.
In the midst of it all, learning to let go of what we can not change, utilizing catch phrases, or meditative practices can help in the middle of chaos or unmanagability. And, our Higher Power is always there too.