Whether we are the addict or the co-addict (AKA co-dependant) we can not serve two masters. We can not admit powerlessness and think we can control it all. We can not say we can’t control and attempt to control it and be truthful to either. Just like the alcoholic who knows he or she is an addict and can’t control the disease without help and then tries to control it fails at both. Learned helplessness. We must control what is ours to control, change what we can and pray really hard for wisdom to know the difference.
To serve a master it means the master comes first. Biblically it may be referred to as a bond servant. An action that is a “compulsion”. Those negative compulsions whether they be to drink, to ingest the drugs, or to save another person are the sickness. Addiction remember comprises three aspects, the addiction to the drug or action itself, the psychological dependance as well as NEGATIVE social or legal ramifications that while they occur still do not shirk the addict from using. So in the sense of addiction, the master is the drug. I watched not too long ago as some people I know succombed to their compulsions. As I watch now, I realize I have been there too, not with the drug or alcohol but with the alcoholic themselves. It is hard for one to admit powerlessness while still serving the other master, however it is also near impossible to stop serving the other master until we realize that the one in control with the power is there, and available to all of us.
As I watch the codependents in certain situations I realize they are as lost in the disease as the addict. I think to some degree I have always seen it. But I see them preserving the alcoholic like a demi god. I thank God for the 12 step program, for having been raised with it and around it. But for the Grace of God Go I. When we reach the 11th and 12th steps, we begin to do our part in being of service. Part of my being of service is here, but the importance of our Higher Power is without measure.
I am currently doing readings and insights on the Spirituality site. We work the program and do the readings but there is another aspect of the 12 steps that we must take seriously as well, our relationship to our higher power. I recently (within the past few months) started reading and meditating on readings from a book called A Course In Miracles. And it is wonderful. For me it is working to, along with other studies and relationships, deepen my faith in my Higher Power. So that is where my focus will be. To heal ourselves we have learned in the 12 steps that we do that in part by bringing the message to others and being of service. The book I’m reading would state it differently, it would read something along the lines of: We learn what we teach and we teach what we learn. And oh how freeing this book is.
Many of us struggle with making amends and forgiveness even if we’ve been working the program for years and years. What I am learning now, is so freeing and so peaceful. I will share what I can and what can be applied in my opinion to the 12 steps here on this blog. And the images that I find and make I will share as well. Im not gone, I’m just over at the other site.
Much peace and love to all.