5 October, 2015 – What can acceptance bring?


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We in recovery speak a lot about acceptance.  It seems to go against what the world as we know it would do.   Acceptance at the onset seems weak, it seems to be that thing that our ego would tell us means we are nothing, we are useless, we are defeated.  In the many lessons encountered in life, there is one that would teach us this is false if we let it.  

Stress is in and of itself a mind dis-ease caused by our ego.  Our ego says, “this can not be”.  In this we see the ego is illusion and illusion and truth can not co-exist.  For clearly what is, is truth.  Stress is that mind battle that physically can result in so many symptoms.  Acceptance of truth rids us of this dis-ease and can heal.  Stress is a dis-ease of faithlessness.  

A loved one when they are at the end of their life or path is one of the seemingly hardest parts of life to go through.  The ego sees the “end of life” many times in one life time.  We can see it in relationships ending in particular when we see “special” or in our terms “codenpendent” relationships ending or starting.  We see it in physical death, we see it in even things like our children growing up and moving away.  We see it in physical location moves whether wanted or not.  There is a reason that these “changes” seem to cause stress.  

I have noticed latetly for myself that as I have seen in years passed, these days of stress, get less and less and when it does come I am able to recognize  it more quickly. 

The truth of our higherpower is known in the hearts of all (hu) man(s).  It is known because in order for the ego to want to “rule” it must perceive there is more and something to rule against or win against.  What it can not handle is that it is powerless and our higher power “full” of power  When we align our will with our higher power illlusions cease.  Truth becomes what is and acceptance comes easily.

What can acceptance bring? It is living life as it is, what is beyond our control is beyond our  control.  Like death or impending death of a loved one.  Acceptance yields time that is left.  So much of our time is spend fighting what is , as stress or worry, and stealing the rest of now.  Acceptance brings the gift of time to be at peace, no fear, no stress, no worry….serenity….  if only for a moment, lets us experience personally that peace that passes all understanding.  

I think about that a lot these days. 

I am grateful for my powerlessness, I am grateful for my Higher Power’s power”full”ness and for the recognition, gift and experience of acceptace.  

We thank You, Father that we cannot lose the memory of you and of Your love.  We recognize our safety, and give thanks for all the gifts You have bestowed on us for all the  loving help we have received, for Your eternal patience, and the Word which You have given us that we are saved.  ~ a prayer from ACiM L234 v.2

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About Adrienne

I am Canadian born, for those of you needing clarification. I was raised in Minnesota, The Land of 10,000 Lakes, Multiple Musical Geniuses, Lake Wobegon, and really, really cold winters. Writing, Music and Photography are my passions. My current companion is my camera though my guitars and the piano are always close by and often consulted. Inspiration is everywhere and so is beauty. I now reside in Owen Sound, Ontario, Canada. I love to write, ponder and give back what I have learned in my journey with the hope that it will benefit others. www.spiritualitythinkaboutit.org www.12stepsthinkaboutit.org www.labyrinthphotos.com

4 comments

  1. fprf54@aol.com

    When I accept anything I am ok with it regardless if I like it or not. I tried to help someone I know come to Al-Anon. She ended blaiming me, and actually hit me about five times. Taps, yet, I can still defend myself. She evan took out the time to treat me just as she did about fourty five years ago. Evan thru up the past too, which I happened to actually do something about. All the reactions had nothing to do with me per say. It was her, and that negative thinking. She is ok staying the same as she always is … I am not ok with staying the same today, I open that door to change and will not close it.

    I could see where she misinterrupted the program sayings in our daily readers that I shared with her. Pigiones do what pigiones do best. They mess on me. I get a laugh out of this stuff. Never trouble troulble until trouble troubles you. And I sit on a mans back chocking him trying to convince myself that I am not. I whish him all the luck and good fourtines, but I won’t get off of his back. And one of my own never ever underestimate an enemey. All of this was negatively processed by some one who just doesn’t understand them. For an excuse to turn on me. These program saying are things to teach me stuff. I wanted to share newer stuff with her, yet, the mind of another can still be closed and stay closed. I had to accept this fact.

    I gave her the phone number to call. I rode past to see me friend who lives close to her where she came over to get me. I just let it all happen. Had to recall how sick we are when we get her. Very rought diamonds in the raw. I keep it simple, no matter what reactions she displays, it is none of my business, when I am going to see my other friend. She is entittle to stay right where she is. My mind is more about exploring the six first beiginners meetings. I just let it be the way that it was. My lady friend works the phone and let her know what whent on down. She took the time out to talk with me. She is neat too.

    Acceptance is not always easy, but it is doable. I am in an personality dispute with an Alocholic too. We don’t seem to get any conversation going . I get interrupted after my first two words. Then he wants to know something, they he can do and is susposed to do for himself. A block party was going on where I used to live. I told him about this. I had four appartments over in that side of town over the years too. Yet, I don’t hang out in the area. I will pass on thru. I had to accept that we were not going to get along. He can go to the block party all on his own without anything from me. I actually got up and whent. I saw two weddings one at the courthourt house and one at Stambough. One of the gals waved at me, so I waved back, then they all were waving at me. I enjoyed this …the one at the courthouse they were all inside, and some one had dropped a beautiful red rose. I enjoyed seeing the flower laying on the side walk. And with this guy I interrupted him once in the conversation too. Yet, I tired to get him back on track. When I get home I look at me, not them to see what I can improve.

    In meetings some of the guys have the daughters living with them and her children. What I keep hearing is that they argue a lot between the two of them. He works and goes to meetings every night, and I am not sure if she has the oppourtinity to get help for herself. Just like the first guy, who is doing his best to smother his daughter too. I asked him how come she cannot look out after herself? It got really quiet. Glad I have Al-Anon for me to help me become aware of what is mine and what is not. Am still learning.

    Paul

    • Thanks for sharing Paul. I hear you I think many of us have similar situations and it’s always good to know we’re not alone. Many blessings to you and your family.

  2. Great post Adrienne. I have always found that there is value to be gleaned from Elisabeth Kubler Ross’s classic 5 stages of grief being denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and ultimately acceptance. These stages (though not rigid in their appearance or order) apply not only in cases of death but ANY type of loss (health, relationship, control, employment, etc.). When we realize that there are “normal” stages people typically go through in processing their loss it allows us to better accept where we or others are at, knowing that getting to acceptance is most often a process Journey and not a quick fix. It’s ok, and in fact healthy, to experience these various stages so long as you don’t remain stuck along the way. Often people need help to simply assess where they are at in the process and to ensure that they are working through the process in a healthy and timely way.

    A second observation can be gleaned from the Psalms in the Bible. There is actually a recurring theme in the Psalms, both individually and as a whole. The theme is a movement of the psalmist(s) from Orientation to Disorientation to Re Orientation. The writer affirms their faith in God, then goes through a serious crisis and calls out to God, and then becomes reoriented. I suspect many of these Psalms were actually written over a much longer period that we do not pick up on when we are reading them in one sitting. Indeed this is another example of how coming to acceptance is actually part of a healthy process.

    I would encourage a further reading on Walter Brueggemann’s work on the Psalms which is summarized well here: https://korycapps.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/rhythm-of-life-orientation-disorientation-reorientation/

    Blessings on your Journey!
    Dave Smith

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